For Jesse; a letter.

Jesse,

CANADA MENS HOCKEY - GOLD.
USA MENS HOCKEY - SILVER

I want you to picture this in your head for me. You and I, sitting on a couch, drinking beer (You, Sam Adams Boston Lager, me, labatt blue as any good canadian should while watching hockey (pronounced hoh-key, like hoth)) and then the game ends, I stand up, and in your disappointed, tear filled eyes, I can see my gigantic smiling reflection as I begin thrusting my pelvis in your face and shouting a relative cornucopia of swear words and derogatory slurs aimed at your mother, all of which cultivate in the words which will echo through your consciousness for at least 5 minutes after the event, "How. does. it. feel. to. suck?"
And then, like a wisp of smoke in a breeze, your last shred of manliness evaporates and you sob openly, because deep down, deep deep down, you honestly thought, when they went to overtime, that you and your faggy American hockey team actually had this one, and you were going to witness my crushing defeat and get to stuff it in my face and make fun of how much of a terrible loser I really am, but now it's you streaking your cheeks with mascara, and getting your pushup bra all wet, and maybe, just maybe, going into the next room, finishing that handle of Johnny walker you've been saving, and putting your .38 to your head and crying yourself to sleep might just be a good idea.

Get the fuck off our ice, son. This is where the big boys play.

-E

Bromance.

Wolf: i know....it was....I was disenchanted for a time after. 

Wolf: But then i got over it and we split a 6 pack. you know how it is 

Mr. E: I do 

Mr. E: Three beer holiday. 

Wolf: 6 beer peace summit. 

Mr. E: hahaha 

Wolf: thats only when resolving a fight between the two bro's 

Wolf: This is my Brocabulary for you. I am Bro'in it up. 

Wolf: these are the words passed down from the Messobrotamians, to the Egyptians(They used Guyroglyphics) and then on to my Savage Bro'ddahs. 

Wolf: in a sort of ....Bro-setta Stone sort of System. 

Mr. E: Brocabulary. 

Mr. E: Awesome.

Wolf: I kills with my words.

Shower time!!

AF: scottsanspants: Keep your enemies closer

AF: yes agreed

Scoot: Get naked with all your friends. Keep your enemies closer. There's a fine line.

AF: hahahahahaha

AF: is there really? 

scoot: I don't know...

scoot: you tell me. ;)

scoot: what is your worldly experience?

AF: hahaha

AF: Scott, you're talking to me. How much worldly experience do you think I have? ;) 

AF: brb really quick 

scoots: k

AF: back 

Lavina: needed a shower like whoa

scoot: mmmmmm

scoots: now I need a cold one.....oh......wait.....sorry.....

AF: hahaha

scoot: ;)

AF: cute

scoot: I MEANT BEER....BEER...Yeah

And here, I thought I was the only one who needed showers after talking to Scoot! <3

"If I wasn't so tired, I'd so photoshop some fucking dots into the skyline"

AF:http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii128/EQMOD/eclipse_2009b.jpg
http://i263.photobucket.com/albums/ii128/EQMOD/eclipse_2009.jpg

E: Thats fine but dude!
FUCKING PAC MAN CAME TO YOUR HOME TOWN!!
Yes he did! Look in the fucking sky!

AF: hahahahahahahaha

E: IT's fucking pacman!

AF: HAHAHAHA
yes it really is

E: HE'S ALL UP IN YOUR SKY

E: WAKAWAKAWAKAING YOUR FUCKING CLOUDS!
Man, I love asia. Giant robots, pacman sunsets, crazy weird toilets..

E: It's like DISNEYLAND for PERVERTS and NERDS!

AF: I'm laughing too hard to contribute to the humor

What light through yonder MS Windows breaks?

E: Romero, romero, where for art thou, George A. Romero? Deny thy death, rise as undead, if thou wilt not, be but sworn to zombies, and I'll no longer hate your abortion of a film, Diary of the Dead.
'Tis your shitty film that is my enemy:

E: Thou art thyself, thou it's not good enough. Because the remakes were vastly better, except LAnd of the dead which was stupid for having zombies learn and shit.

AF: HAHAAHAHAHHAAH....

"My love is like a raging ultralisk.."

Cross posted from here, because it was too good.

GBA: And you have to teach them that if they're doing something right, to KEEP FUCKING DOING IT
AF: every five seconds
E: Right.
AF: "THAT SPOT!"
E: "GO GO GO!"
E: "ZERG RUSH!"
E: "SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS!"
AF: HAHAHA
GBA: hahahaha
E: "POWER OVERWHELMING!"
AF: HAHAHAHA
GBA: i'm gonna choke
GBA: omg
E: "WIN!!!!!"
AF: *dies laughing*
GBA: i can't breathe
E: Sex, to me, is a game of starcraft, I can't help it..

Li's Evil Plan

Scoot: Li probably did it just messing around with us.
AF: I'll be sure to ask her
Scoot: She now controls the "satallite". Though I'd rather her than Google.
AF: I didn't know that Google had a military satellite
AF: Scary
AF: Google's looking to be our Blue Sun, eh?
Scoot: They sponsored the highest resolution spy satellite ever so they could have access to it for Google Maps.
AF: . . .
AF: freaky
Scoot: So far I've only been able to recreate that it's called GeoEye while searching on Google. It's such a high resolution it could tell what color your underwear is.
AF: . . .
AF: no shit?
Scoot: Google has a fucking sattelite.
Scoot: A spy one at that.
Scoot: They'll apparently won't put the higher res pics on the internet.
AF: obviously
Scoot: So the color underwear you have will only be known the them and the US government... and Li.
Scoot: That's it.
Scoot: Her evil plan is revealed.
Scoot: She wants to see your underwears from way over here.
AF: I'm too busy laughing to provide a witty comment